Jack and Mary look out the window, where Mel is outside, digging. Mary and Jack giggle, then look behind themselves and notice the viewer.
Mary: (to viewer) Oh, hey, guess what! Mel is out in the backyard, digging up some trombones he buried!
Jack: (to viewer) Yep! Mel just loves digging up trombones! (to Mel) Uh, find any yet, Melsie-boy?
Mel stands up and holds a dirty trombone.
Mel: Ruff!
Jack: You got one, Mel! (Mel plays the trombone) And what a nifty trombone it is!
Mary: Ha-ha! We just need two more, Mel, ok?
Mel continues digging up the remaining trombones.
Mary: (to viewer) When Mel finds the other two trombones, we're going to have a trombone-a-thon!
Jack: And play trombones all day long!
Mel: (offscreen) Ruff! (Jack and Mary both look out the window)
Mary: You found the other trombones, Mel?
Jack: Well, bring them in, Mel, and let's get this trombone-a-thon started!
Both: Yippee!
Mel walks inside, covered in dirt, holding the dirty trombones. Jack and Mary walk over to him.
Jack and Mary in unison: Mel?
Mel: Ruff!
Jack: Yes, I see you've got the trombones, Mel, but look at you!
Mel: Ruff?
Mary: You're really dirty, that's what!
Mel: (confused) Ruff?
Jack: Where are you dirty, Mel? Try all over your whole entire body!
Mel: Ruff!
Mary: Well, sure, we're excited for the trombone-a-thon, too, but, uh...
Jack: .. we've gotta clean you up, first!
Mary: You need a bath!
Jack: Mm-hmm!
Mel: (nervous) Ruff?!
Cut to Jack, Mary, and Mel playing their instruments to "You Must Take a Bath".
After the song:
Jack: Well, Mel, you really need to take a bath right away!
Mel: (shakes his head) Ruff. (runs off his drum set and runs offscreen)
Mary: Oh, looks like Mel doesn't wanna take a bath, Jack!
Jack: Yeah, but Mel's gotta take a bath!
Mary: Uh-huh!
Mel runs past his music machine, goes back, and turns it on. "I'm a Mess" by The Laurie Berkner Band plays.
Act 2[]
After "I'm a Mess":
Jack and Mary walk around the clubhouse, looking for Mel.
Jack: Oh, where, oh, where has my Melsie-boy gone?
Mary: Oh, where, oh, where can he be, Jack?
Jack: I don't know, Mary, but- (looks at the floor and notices something) I think I know how to find him! Look! (Mary does so. We see dirt footprints where Mel ran around the clubhouse) Mel's muddy dog tracks!
Mary: Well, let's follow those tracks, Jack!
They both follow the tracks as the camera pans on the tracks.
Jack: (offscreen) Uh, let's see, over here... over this way... over this way... and over here...
Mary: (offscreen) Huh.
Jack: .. and they come over to here, and- (they stop at Mel's music trunk) Say, Mary, the tracks stop at Mel's music trunk!
Both: Oh, Mel!
Mel peeks out of the trunk.
Jack: Come on out, Mel! You need to take a bath!
Mary: And then we'll have our trombone-a-thon!
Jack: What do you say, pal?
Mary: Huh?
Jack: Bath?
Mary: Huh?
Mel: (shakes his head) Ruff. (hides back in the trunk)
Jack and Mary: (sigh)
Jack: How are we gonna get Mel into a bath, Mary?
Mary: I have no idea, Jack. We need some big time help!
The doorbell rings.
Jack and Mary: ♪ Who is it? ♪
A blonde woman, played by Cheryl Hines, enters holding a puppet sized bathtub and a purple detector. She wears a blue outfit covered by purple overalls that have a bubble design which matches her bathtub. Her name is Sudsy Bubblestein, professional dog washer and stylist.
Sudsy: Hi! I'm Sudsy Bubblestein, professional dog washer and stylist, at your service! (Jack and Mary run over)
Jack: Say, Sudsy Bubblestein, professional dog washer and stylist, it's nice to meet you! I'm Jack!
Sudsy: Hi, Jack!
Mary: And I'm Mary!
Sudsy! Hi, Mary!
Jack: And you are exactly who we need!
Mary: How did you know, Sudsy Bubblestein?
Sudsy: Well, (her detector makes a sound that beeps faster and faster the closer they walk to Mel) my dirty dog detector detects any dirty dog in the neighborhood, and it's telling me that there's a really dirty dog right in there! (they are at Mel's music trunk)
Mary: Uh-huh!
Jack: Yeah, that's right, Mel's in there! Yeah, but he doesn't wanna take a bath, and he won't come out!
Sudsy: Don't worry! You leave all the dog washing and styling to Sudsy Bubblestein! (she walks offscreen to set up) You see, Jack and Mary, dogs need a little tender love and care.
Jack and Mary look at each other and nod.
Sudsy: (as she sets up) For me, it's all about creating a comfy and cozy place for dogs to relax, and get away from all that doggone doggy day-to-day stress. A little atmosphere, a little ambiance, and... (finishes) Voilà! (a portion of the clubhouse is decorated with bath-related things. There's a tall lamp decorated with blue, purple, and green spots, there's a tall bush, a pink chandelier, and on a table where she has placed her bathtub, a pink rubber duck, a scrub brush, and a sponge. Jack and Mary run over.)
Jack: (gasp) Ooh!
Mary: (gasp) Ooh!
Jack: Woah!
Mary: It's a doggy bath dreamland!
Sudsy: Thank you!
Jack: It's wonderful! (to Mel, who is still hiding) Say, Mel, check out your bath!
Mel peeks out.
Jack: How about taking a bath now, Melsie-boy?
Mary: Huh? Huh?
Mel: (shakes head and hides back in)
Jack: (to Sudsy) See that, Sudsy? Mel won't come out!
Sudsy: Don't worry, Jack. I know a surefire way to get the most stubborn and dirtiest dogs in the tub.
Both: You do?
Sudsy: Yes-sir-re, and it works every time! (pulls out a bottle that has a reddish pink liquid. The bottle has a purple lid, and is decorated with spots) No dog can resist Super Sudsy Bubblestein Bubbles! (her teeth shine at the camera as she smiles)
Jack: Super Sudsy Bubblestein Bubbles?
Mary: What in the world are Super Sudsy Bubblestein Bubbles?
The doorbell rings.
Jack, Mary, and Sudsy: ♪ Who is it? ♪
The Schwartzman Quartet enter.
Mary: It's the Schwartzman Quartet!
Quartet: (singing) ♪ Super Sudsy Bubblestein has the bubbles to get your K-9 clean. (hm-bop, hm-bop, hm-bop, hm-bop, ooooooo) Your doggy's fur will have a super sheen, with Super Sudsy Bubblestein, bubbles. bubbles. ♪
(Sudsy turns the handle on the tub, which makes a faucet appear on the right end side. She pours the bubbles in the tub. The faucet starts to shake and lots of bubbles fly out of the tub and float all over the clubhouse. Jack and Mary smile at the viewer. The song continues)
♪ Super Sudsy Bubblestein has the bubbles to get your K-9 clean. Your doggy's fur will have a super sheen, with Super Sudsy Bubblestein, bubbles, bubbles. ♪ (they repeat "bubbles")
Sudsy: (to viewer) My Super Sudsy Bubblestein Bubbles are 100% guaranteed for clean, bubbly fun. Made from the finest, all-natural bubbles around! (smiles again, her teeth shine at the camera, making a 'ding' sound effect. The quartet stop repeating "bubbles". Mel peeks out and dances. Sudsy has joined the quartet in the song. They sing it once more. The quartet dance offscreen as the camera zooms in on Sudsy) Super Sudsy Bubblestein Bubbles, just clean, bubbly fun!
Quartet: (singing) ♪ So long! ♪
The quartet leaves the clubhouse. Mel runs to the tub and looks around. Jack and Mary giggle.
Jack: You see that, Mel? The Super Sudsy Bubblestein Bubbles are a big-time barrel of fun!
Mary: A good clean fun, Jack, ha-ha! Woo-hoo!
Sudsy: That's right, and they're even more fun to play with in the tub!
Jack: Mm-hmm!
Jack and Mary in unison: Hop in, Mel!
Mel: (looks at the tub, then at the viewer) Ruff! (runs offscreen)
Mary: Oh, man! Mel still doesn't want to take a bath, Sudsy!
Sudsy: Don't worry, you guys. Mel will take a Super Sudsy bubble bath today, and get all super spiffy clean, or my name isn't Sudsy Bubblestein! (walks offscreen) Hold on, Mel! Wait a second, Mel!
Mel runs past his music machine, goes back, turns it on, and continues running. "I Hope My Mama Says Yes" by AudraRox is played.
Act 3[]
After "I Hope My Mama Says Yes":
Sudsy waves her dirty dog detector around the clubhouse. The detector beeps faster and faster. She finds Mel hiding behind the bass and turns off the detector.
Sudsy: Mel?
Mel: Ruff.
Sudsy: (giggling) You're not here? Mel, come on out, please!
Mel peeks out from behind the bass and slowly walks to Sudsy.
Sudsy: Listen, Mel, I want to talk to you about taking a bath.
Mel: Ruff?
Sudsy: Right, just talk, Mel, that's all we're gonna do, just talk. So, why won't you take a bath?
Mel: Ruff.
Sudsy: I know you don't want to, Mel, but why? (comedy music starts playing) Look at me, Mel. (they both stare at each other for about 20 seconds) Mm, you're scared, huh.
Mel: (nods) Ruff?
Sudsy: How'd I know? Mel, you're talking to Sudsy Bubblestein, professional dog washer and stylist, I know these things!
Mel: Ruff.
Sudsy: (pets Mel) Listen. Taking a bath is nothing to be scared of. Lots of dogs I wash for the first time are scared to get in the water!
Mel: Ruff?
Sudsy: They sure are! But I know exactly what to do to make you feel comfortable in the tub!
Mel: Ruff?
Sudsy: Really, Mel. Now, how about you come with me and we'll give it a try.
Mel: (nods slowly, then quickly) Ruff!
Sudsy: That's the spirit, Mel! Come on! (she holds Mel's paw and walks him to the tub, where Jack and Mary are playing with the bubbles. They notice Mel nearly in the tub and gasp)
Jack: Say, Mel, are you gonna take a bath now?
Sudsy: He is, but we're gonna take it nice and slow, and use Sudsy Bubblestein's relaxing bath music to help (presses a few buttons on the dirty dog detector. Relaxing music starts playing)
Jack: (to viewer) Music always helps!
Sudsy: Ok, Mel. Let's just put one hand in and see how it feels.
Mel: Ruff?
Sudsy: Yeah, just one hand!
Mel: (puts his paw in the tub and waves it around) Ruff!
Jack: Yeah, I know, Mel! Feels warm, huh?
Mel: Ruff!
Mary: And bubbly!
Sudsy: Ok, Mel, how about try the other hand now?
Mel: (puts his other paw in the tub and waves it around) Ruff!
Sudsy: Yeah? Ok, well, let's try your feet and see how that feels!
Mel: (puts his feet in the tub) Ruff!
Sudsy: Feels swell, Mel? Well, now let's put all of you in the tub!
Mel: (pauses, then nods) Ruff!
Sudsy: Ok! (picks Mel up and puts him in the tub. Mel and Sudsy smile at each other) So, Mel, what do you think of the bath?
Mel: Ruff!
Sudsy: You love it?
Jack and Mary in unison: He loves it! (they laugh)
Jack: Yeah! See, Mel? A bath is all right! (gets his guitar and plays it. Mary does the same with her accordion. They all play "A Bath is All Right" as Sudsy cleans Mel)
Jack: You did it, Sudsy! You got Mel in the tub!
Mary: All clean!
Sudsy: Well, hold on a minute, Mary. Before I can pronounce any dog clean, I gotta run a dirty dog check! (waves the dirty dog detector around Mel)
Jack: Well?
Sudsy: Well, Jack, I am now happy to pronounce Mel, Super Sudsy Bubblestein Clean! (smiles as her teeth glow at the camera)
Jack and Mary: Yippee!
Sudsy: Alright, Mel, you can come out of the bath now.
Mel: (shakes head) Ruff.
Mary: You're having too much fun in the tub to come out? (giggles) Aw, Mel!
Sudsy: And now for the styling! (a drum roll plays as Sudsy wraps a towel around Mel) And... Voilà! (Mel is now completely clean. His fur is a bit fuzzier than before)
Jack: Mel, you're all sparkly clean!
Mary: Wow! (giggles)
Mel: (to Sudsy) Ruff!
Sudsy: Well. you're most welcome, Mel! I'm so proud of you, you took a bath! And wasn't it fun?
Mel: Ruff! (they hug)
Sudsy: Way to go, Mel! (Jack and Mary giggle)
Jack: Say, now that Mel's all clean, it's time for our...
Both: Trombone-a-thon! Yippee!
Sudsy: Hey, you guys, this is really crazy, but guess what I love to do just as much as washing dogs?
Jack and Mary: What's that, Sudsy?
Sudsy: Playing my trombone! (pulls out a real Yamaha trombone from her tub) Can I join your trombone-a-thon?
Jack: Sure!
Mary: Yeah!
Mel: Ruff!
All: Let's rock this clubhouse! (cut to Jack, Mary, Mel, and Sudsy near the door, playing their trombones)
Jack: Mel is Sudsy Bubblestein Clean!
Mary: What a day!
The goodbye song is played.
After the song:
Mary: Woo-hoo! Trombone-a-thon!
Sudsy: I love trombones! (smiles as her teeth glow at the camera)
